There is no such thing as sophisticated as public transport for picking up a date. Public Transport provides a number of options to pick a date of your interest. How many times you saw someone who is so attractive for you and haven’t taken further steps to have a chat with them. Are you planning to be a single in your whole life time? Remember catching up a chat with a stranger on a public transport is very simple if you follow my way.

To pick someone in public transport, you first need to be a little but brave who can initiate the chat. No one will chat with you until unless you initiate the chat. Don’t be shy to pick someone on public transport.

Handle the Environment

Remember the rule one. Public transport is a tough environment. In public transport you can find a variety of people who might be soft or rough or someone who don’t like intrusion into their privacy or frustrated people about Traffic or any other things. You can even find people who are aggressive in public transport. So how can we catch up a chat with someone whom we hardly know? To chat with someone in public transport you must be a quick thinker and you must be able to create new topics for chatting. You must be decisive than aggressive. Aggressive people get less chance to catch a chat with someone on public transport

Checkout your date

In public transport you must first check the person you are interested. Find out the timings of travel to make sure that you travel with them on the same time. You must be quick in taking decisions because your date might get down in next stop. Once you decided to catch up some chat with the personals, check their environment. Are they with someone? Or Are they with their better half. Trying to pick someone who has a better half will bring tears rather than life.

Position yourself

Now you had found the person you wish to chat on the public transport. Now you need to position yourself such that there will be some eye contact between you and the personal you are trying to pick. Positioning is so much critical. I had seen a lot of personals loose chats with their loved ones because of their position. You must position yourself in public transport such a way that, there are high chances of getting an eye contact. If you are targeting a personal in public transport remember that, you need to position yourself outside too. If you are waiting for Bus or a local metro rail, let them get in first. This will give an opportunity for you to find out their place and you can position yourself easily.

Asserts

It is always useful to have a newspaper or a magazine in your hands. It will give something to pretend to look. By having a newspaper or a magazine you can avoid glancing the open space or outside always. Sometimes having a newspaper or a magazine will help you in starting a conversation with a stranger in public. If you use MP3 player, remember to remove the headphones off from ears. When you have your headphone on, your body language sates you are not approachable. This will reduce the chance of picking someone on Public Transport. Even though you have mp3 player, casually take them off in front of your target.

Eye contact

Eye contact is most important to start a conversation in public transport and to pick someone in public transport. Eye contact is the best way to tell someone as physically attractive. Begin by glancing him/her by catching their eye and holding it for a second or two. Then have a look somewhere. Again after 30 seconds you can glance at them again. If they glance at you, they might be interested. Continue this for some time before you speak up. This is because glancing might be misunderstood a lot of times. If they don’t look back at you, then chances are they are not interested and all your advancement will be bear no fruit.

Smile

There are no alternatives for a smile. A proper smile helps you to attract others like magnets. A Smile makes your face bright and attractive. When you catch their eye for the second time, smile at them. It makes you friendly and approachable. That helps you to start a conversation with them too. If they smile back, it is likely that you are on the path of winning. Remember too much smiling makes you look odd so be careful while smiling.

Body Language

A perfect body language is a great weapon to attract people. You don’t need to be Brad Pitt or Shakira to attract people. A perfect body language helps you to be the center of attraction. A comfortable body language will tell a lot about their interest on you. Once they smile back to you, it’s time to check out their body language. A proper sign about their interest on you is they angled themselves towards you. This is a positive sign and you are one step ahead in the path. Make sure your body language is also positive. Never cross your arms or your legs. These are negative signals showing disinterest. Angle yourselves towards them.

Speak up

It’s time to start a conversation with them. Lot of people is not ready to start a conversation with a complete stranger. Even though body language is perfect people don’t have nerve to start a conversation. Knowing how to start conversation with strangers will help you to have a small chit chat with the person you are targeting. Remember you don’t have hours, so decide immediately. They might get down at next stop, so better be fast on this.

A simple Hi will help you to start the conversation, try to ask questions which can open up more than just a yes or no. This is not an exam to get a yes or no. Also remember that they might not speak with you just like that. So don’t lose hope. If they are interested to have a chit chat, they will happily give details and answer more. Their voice will show whether they are genuinely interested on you or not. If it is going badly, just get off at the next stop.

Are you interested in attracting women like magnets in your singles life. Every men can attract any kind of women easily like a magnet if you follow the basic 10 tips. Read below the 10 tips to attract women like magnets.

1: Never Settle for Just Any Woman

The biggest mistake you can possibly make in any relationship is to settle for whatever woman comes along for fear you can’t do any better than what you have! Doing this will prevent you from ever finding the woman you are truly meant to be with. It is difficult to take a leap of faith, especially in matters of the heart, but settling to be with a woman that doesn’t “do it for you” is a HUGE mistake…for you both! Do NOT settle for just any woman hold out for someone that you really connect with and live the life of your dreams! Believe it or not, women admire men who know what they want and won’t settle for anything less. It is a major turn on!

2: Apply the Laws of Attraction

This subject has been poked, prodded, turned upside down and inside out. It is contained within every magazine and book and research paper on the subject of love that you will ever run across. As a relationship expert myself, I have an entire wall of books dedicated to this subject alone, and more books and articles and theories are created every day around the globe on the differences between men and women regarding their particular triggers for attraction. It is right under your nose, every day, everywhere…on TV, out in public, you name the place…it’s right there staring you down! Yet unbelievably, there are STILL people who are completely clueless about the Laws of Attraction.

Now, this is not to say that the Laws of Attraction are good or right or even tolerable at times. But, there are certain inalienable truths about attraction that you need to know and understand if you desire to become successful in any romantic relationship.

What are the Laws of Attraction? Simply put, Men and Woman are polar opposites when it comes to attraction. Men initially feel sexual attraction based upon a woman’s physical appearance, which then leads them into a desire for a relationship. But, women are initially attracted to a man’s qualities. Sure, women will admire a man’s looks, but that doesn’t lead them into a desire for a relationship with him. It’s when a man exhibits confidence in his body language and communication–regardless of his looks–that women feel a powerful sexual attraction that over shadows the man’s physical attributes.

3: Don’t Be Too Nice

Of course, everyone knows that being “nice” is considered socially acceptable in the world. But, women do not choose a lover based upon how nice they may be - that’s how they choose their friends. Being “NICE” just isn’t what ignites the flames of passion. What does ignite the flames? Attraction. What is attractive? Confidence in one’s self! Use positive body language, take meaningful actions, and be your genuine self without regard to what others may think of you. This doesn’t mean you should act like a jerk, because no one likes a jerk either. It simply means that in order to attract a woman, you MUST be confident in yourself.

4: Convincing a Woman To Like You is a Big No-No!

Do not waste any of your valuable time trying to convince a woman that doesn’t appear interested in you romantically that you are the person they are meant to be with. It will NEVER work, and in fact, may backfire on you in a most embarrassing way. Why is this? Because you can’t change the way a person “feels.” You can try to understand and you can offer alternative points of view, but you cannot change their feelings. To make matters worse, when faced with the knowledge that a woman doesn’t “feel” attracted to them, some men often take ridiculous action to convince them otherwise-they will relentlessly pursue the woman without regard for her lack of “feelings.” Spare yourself this tragedy and move on to the next lady in line, who might just “feel” attracted to you-an absolute necessity to a fulfilling relationship!

5: Seeking Her Approval is a Waste of Time

It is completely adverse to human nature for a woman to desire a man who seems to actively pursue her approval. Psychologically, it instills in a woman’s mind that the man is automatically not worthy of her attention, and no matter what you do to gain the woman’s approval…you will always be considered less than worthy. ALWAYS! The simple truth is that you will lack the necessary confidence in yourself in order to succeed in gaining the attraction you seek. Now, this does not mean you should completely ignore a woman’s approval-just that, instead, you need to gain it through self confidence. NOT by seeking her approval of you!

6: Buying Her Affections will not Score You Any Real Points

Yes, it’s true, everyone loves freebies! But, it’s also true that you get what you pay for. If you lavish freebies on a woman to gain her attraction, you send a strong message that you are so insecure in yourself that you must compensate by spending money. Guess what? Insecurity is NOT attractive. What is attractive? Confidence! Instead of buying a woman expensive gifts – take action that you put thought into, such as arranging a unique evening for you both to cook a meal together or doing something especially memorable and romantic. This sends a strong, clear message to a woman that she is too important for you to risk getting your message across by just sending a bunch of flowers. No, you are a MAN! So, show her that you mean business!

7: Revealing Your Feelings Too Early - Yikes!

There is a time and place for everything! Revealing your feelings for a woman should only be done after you have had plenty of time to assess and confirm a mutual attraction. Jumping into the “feeling” pit too early on sends powerful signals to a woman that you lack control. On the flip side, taking it slowly and even appearing aloof is a much better position. When you slowly warm up to a comfortable place where the woman is begging you to share your feelings, you will instantly know how attractive it is to be desired in such a away. This does not mean you should avoid being genuine. Definitely be honest and up front about who you are and what you like and don’t like, but save the “feelings” exchange for a time when you know the woman is sincerely interested in hearing them.

8: Basing Your Worth upon Money And Looks

Of course, it’s true…there are a few rotten apples in the barrel that focus all their energy on attracting only men that have good looks and lots of money, basing all their hopes upon material issues. But, they are fairly easy to weed out of the bunch. In truth, most women are much more attracted to a man’s personality than anything else, including women who end up with very wealthy men that lack personality! History has shown us that very powerful, wealthy people have fallen head over heels in love with others that have neither power nor wealth. What did they have? They had a personality, and that personality was based upon confidence! You see, positive character traits are compelling attributes that act like magnets and literally draw women to you instantly. Believe it or not, women prefer to be romanced by men who hold out their arms and pull them in for a hug rather than men who pull out their wallets whenever they seek attention. Yes, having a J-O-B is quite important, so don’t go overboard. No woman enjoys being romanced by a free loader with no money at all. But, it doesn’t take a fortune in the bank or a plastic surgeon to exude sexual attractiveness.

9: Sacrificing Your Authenticity

Guess what unique attributes you have that no one else in the entire world possesses? You have an original authenticity that is completely different from everyone else. If you sacrifice your authenticity by appearing desperate for a woman’s attention, you lack the ability to attract her. So, what do you do? You find out who you are and you stick with it. You don’t pretend to be something you are not and you don’t beg for a woman’s permission to be your true self. You walk the walk and talk the talk, and let the cards fall where they may. Why? Because if you don’t, you will end up settling for whatever it is you get.

10: Just Do It!

Countless numbers of people exude ignorance about matters that they know exactly how to handle. If you want something, you MUST take action to get it. If you find out that it wasn’t what you really wanted, then you move on to the next challenge. Life is a constantly evolving experience of action after action after action. So, if you want to approach a woman you’re attracted to and get her number or if you’re dating someone that you feel like kissing, don’t just sit there acting all nervous and confused. Instead, walk right up to her and ask for the number or move right in and kiss her. Sitting on the sideline and wondering what to do about things that you know you want will not score you any points. And believe it or not, women are attracted to men who know what they want and take action to get it. So, how do you do this without offending a woman? You confidently act on your desires without regard to potential failure while exhibiting a genuine respect for her feelings. If she appears disinterested, FINE…that’s your cue to exit stage left. But, don’t let it deter you from approaching the next woman you’re attracted to…or she might just be the one you pass on the way out the door!

Why we need friendships when we have a lovely life in this world.
Why we need friends in our life.

Well friends, this is a tedious question to answer. Lets see each questions.

Why we need friendships?

Friendships are the gift to the man kind. The relation which we get in this world are blood related. But the only relationships which doesnot related to blood is friendship. Friendship has many forms and shapes. It is like water. If we pour the water into a jug it takes the shape of jug. if you pour the same water into a bowl it takes the shape o bowl. Sameway friendships will take a different shapes and sizes according to our heart. Friendship gives pleasure to human beings. Where there is friendship then there will not be any sorrow. When you see a child laughing you will forget your sorrows for a second, sameway when you are with a friend you forget your sorrows.

Friendships crosses boundries

The world is rotating smoothly because of the friendly hearts in the world. it crosses boundries and share a mutual bonding of love. Friendships will take care of this entire world from problems. If we are friends then our countries will, when our countries are friends then there is not need of weapons. So take weapon named friendship and love and conqure the world with love.

Friendships saves life

Trusted true friendships never makes others down. it helps a lot to make friends to comeup from the situation. Friendships never expect anything in return for all its offering. It saves life without looking into situation.

Why we need friends & friendships?

Friends comes with friendships, They are the channel of love and affection. Friends are like child’s heart which doesn’t know wrong thinkings. When there is a friend with us we feel secure, happy, huge support, and comfortable which you can’t get from others.

So Lets get some real friends in this world. and lets Be Friends.

While anger management tips can help you keep from blowing up, the best anger management strategy is to begin anger management when you’re not inflated!
Most experts agree that in order to learn long-term anger management techniques, you first need to recognize the “triggers” that set off your anger. But, what do you do if you’re angry most of the time?

An excellent beginning anger management strategy is a small change in your environment. Even a 15–20 minutes environment change, can make a big change in your perspective.

Anger Management Strategy #1: Changing Your Environment

1. If you usually spend your day indoors, make a point to spend some personal time outdoors. Putter in your yard or take a walk. The fresh air will do you good, both physically and mentally.
2. If you work mostly outdoors, spend some personal, private time indoors. Go home, put your feet up and andrelax.
3. If you spend the day in physical labor, give yourself a “quiet time”. Sit on a park bench and watch the world go by or sit in your favorite chair and let your tired muscles relax.
4. If you spend most of your day ina sit-down job, get those lethargic muscles moving! After work, take some time to walk, run, exercise to feel a surge of renewed energy in both mind and body!
5. If you spend your day in noise, make sure your “quiet time” is quiet. Give yourself a chance to calm down and clear the chaos from your thoughts.
6. If you spend your day where the silence is deafening, go home and pump up the volume! Listen to the radio, play a CD, watch an half-hour of television. Get your mind off your problems!

Anger Management Strategy #2: Learn to Recognize Your Anger Activators

When you’re reasonably calm, take a few minutes to examine recent times when your anger flared. Jot them down. Don’t relive each; just look for what triggered your anger – your anger activators. What started you simmering and when did you boil over? What effect did your temper flares have on those around you and most importantly, you? What resulted from your anger? Let this be the beginning of your anger log or anger diary.

Each day, “log” occurrences of your anger and their triggers. You’ll likely find that many of the same things are making you see red everyday.

For instance, a lot of folks start each day confronted by the harsh, irritating beeping of an alarm clock. If you’re one of them, consider changing its tune. Set a clock radio to music instead of alarm or purchase an alarm that starts with a quiet pulse and slowly increases in intensity.

Anger Management Strategy #3: The Serenity Prayer

You may have heard the platitude, “You’re either part of the problem or part of the solution.” However, to paraphrase Abe Lincoln:

“You can solve all of the problems some of the time and some of the problems all of the time, but you can’t solve all of the problems all of the time. ‘

For instance, when you experience the loss of a family member, the anger you may feel is a natural part of grieving. No matter what you do, you can’t solve the problem, but you can learn to control and resolve your anger.

“God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things we can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.”

For decades, Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-step programs have used the Serenity Prayer to help their members cope with their problems. Even if you don’t believe in a higher power, you can still use this simple message as an anger management strategy to help control your anger.

Interacting amiably with family and friends is a super stress reducer. Instead of the mind working overtime on worries and problems, it is occupied with thoughts of other things and other people. There is less mental capacity left for anxieties and self-doubt.

“Friendship improves happiness and abates misery by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief.” - Marcus Cicero (BC)

Good friendship is healthy but it isn’t easy for everyone. Getting people to like you is the starting point, and that should be fairly easy to do. People have a basic need to be liked themselves. Show interest, appreciation, and kindness. Smile. Praise given out sincerely is a great act of friendship. Be a good listener and try to see the good, not the bad qualities in people. These actions will usually be returned to you, sooner or later.

“The only way to have a friend is to be one. . . A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud.”  - Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

As a friend, try to let an unfavorable incident or remark fly right over the top of your head. We all blurt out something stupid or do something regrettable at times, and it’s so nice when the other acts as if it never happened. This is a dear friend.

“The rule of friendship means there should be mutual sympathy between them, each supplying what the other lacks and trying to benefit the other, always using friendly and sincere words.” - Buddha (BC)

Using any relaxation tips you may have picked up over the years is a great way to deal with the stresses in your daily life.

Sometimes, when you’re feeling stressed out, having someone tell you to relax or “chill out” is more annoying than anything else. But it’s advice you should take to heart, especially if you are having a bad day - or week.

Here are 7 tips that will help you relax when you’re feeling stressed.

1. Take a Warm Bath : Soaking in a tub full of warm water can work wonders when you’re feeling stressed. The warm water relaxes you physically, loosening tight, stiff muscles. And, as a result, you relax mentally as well.
2. Read a Good Book : One of the best ways to deal with a stressful situation, especially if the stress is caused by something you have no control over, is to not think about it. And one of the easiest ways to get your mind off things that are bothering you is to read a good book.
   You can read the latest best seller that you’ve been looking forward to. Or, if you don’t think you will be able to concentrate on anything new, choose an old favorite that you’re already familiar with.
3. Listen to Some Music : It’s a proven fact that soothing music can be relaxing. The type of music you choose is entirely up to you. Buy a CD or cassette featuring soft, modern ballads, gentle classics, smooth jazz, or New Age music. When you feel stressed, pop the music into the player and let the music carry you away.
4. Take a Deep Breath : Something as simple as taking a couple of deep breaths can work wonders. So, the next time you feel stressed, take a few slow, deep breaths. And, if you can, add a full body stretch. Stretching and yawning are also relaxing.
5. Try Aromatherapy : Certain scents have been found to have a calming, relaxing effect on the human body. One of those scents is lavender.
   You can buy lavender candles at a health food store or online, and place them around your home or office. Whenever you’re feeling stressed, burning a lavender candle can help you relax.
   Just make sure your lavender candles are made with essential oils.
6. Try Visualization : The things you visualize or imagine can actually have an effect on your mood.
   The next time you are feeling stressed, take a moment to close your eyes and imagine that you are somewhere more relaxing, like on a beach. Imagine that you can feel the cool breeze against your skin, and hear the ocean waves.
   If you’re stressed about a situation, like giving a speech in front of a large crowd, close your eyes and visualize yourself giving the speech, and everything going perfectly.
   Visualization can help you feel calmer, and better able to deal with whatever has you feeling stressed in the first place.
7. Spend Time Outdoors : Sunlight and fresh air have remarkable abilities to heal our spirit. Often something just as simple as taking a short walk around the block can help reset our priorities. Even yard work can be relaxing if approached from the right frame of mind.

Controlling your temper isn’t always easy. But these effective anger management techniques will help give you the upper hand.

If your outbursts, rages or bullying are negatively affecting relationships with family, friends, co-workers and even complete strangers, it’s time to change the way you express your anger. You can take steps on your own to improve your anger management.

Anger management tips

Here are some anger management tips to help get your anger under control:

• Take a “time out.” Although it may seem cliche, counting to 10 before reacting, or leaving the situation altogether, really can defuse your temper.
• Do something physically exerting. Physical activity can provide an outlet for your emotions, especially if you’re about to erupt. Go for a brisk walk or a run, swim, lift weights or shoot baskets.
• Find ways to calm and soothe yourself. Practice deep-breathing exercises, visualize a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase to yourself, such as “take it easy.” You can also listen to music, paint, journal or do yoga.
• Once you’re calm, express your anger as soon as possible so that you aren’t left stewing. If you simply can’t express your anger in a controlled manner to the person who angered you, try talking to a family member, friend, counselor or another trusted person.
• Think carefully before you say anything so that you don’t end up saying something you’ll regret. Write a script and rehearse it so that you can stick to the issues.
• Work with the person who angered you to identify solutions to the situation.
• Use “I” statements when describing the problem to avoid criticizing or placing blame. For instance, say “I’m upset you didn’t help with the housework this evening,” instead of, “You should have helped with the housework.” To do otherwise will likely upset the other person and escalate tensions.
• Don’t hold a grudge. Forgive the other person. It’s unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want.
• Use humor to release tensions, such as imagining yourself or the other person in silly situations. Don’t use sarcasm, though — it’s just another form of unhealthy expression.
• Keep an anger log to identify the kinds of situations that set you off and to monitor your reactions.
• Practice relaxation skills. Learning skills to relax and de-stress can also help control your temper when it may flare up.

If you’re down in the dumps for disproportionately long periods of time and you find yourself blaming the rest of the world for your misery, then perhaps a change of attitude is in order. These 10 tips for positive thinking may be able to give your outlook in life its much needed overhaul. So increase your chances for a more constructive perspective with these 10 tips for positive thinking:

1. Recognize negative thoughts as they take shape and bury them before they take root. If you feel your mood darkening again, put a stop to these dangerous musings before you succumb to them. Rule your emotions, don’t let your emotions rule you.
2. Hang out with people who think positive as well. This condition can be quite infectious.
3. Just as contagious is a negative mindset. So avoid people who tend to think negatively on a constant basis. After all, who wants to hang around naysayers all the time?
4. Work out and eat right. If you look good on the outside, it’ll be easier to feel good on the inside, too.
5. De-clutter. Surround yourself only with the things you love and that make you feel good—framed family photos, favorite books, potted plants, works of art, or whatever else that’s meaningful to you.
6. If people tell you you can’t do something, take that as a challenge and prove them wrong. Chances are, they themselves can’t do it or are too afraid to try and are simply bitter about it. If you show them it can be done after all, maybe they’ll even be inspired by your success. You can be a living tip for positive thinking to them.
7. Just when you’re about to blow your top for all the seeming misfortunes that befall you, remind yourself of all your blessings instead. This practice can be very sobering, indeed.
8. Be a volunteer or get involved in charity work. Not only will you realize the sheer number of people who have bigger problems than you do, but there is also such an emotional and even spiritual high to be experienced in helping others.
9. De-stress. You’re more likely to be cranky if you’re perpetually stressed out. So get away from it all and recharge.
10. Keep it up. Getting started is easy. It’s the maintenance that’s tricky. Make a habit out of thinking positively till it becomes an indelible part of who you are.

Follow these 10 tips for positive thinking and be successful in your search for a happier and healthier frame of mind.

Life is thought, and when we cease to think, we are not living. How we think, is the kind of life we live. Since we are able to control our thoughts, we can determine the course of our life and the way we feel during our time here.

“We are what we think.” - Buddha (BC)

It is very important to establish good thinking guidelines and follow them. Placing thoughts of peace and happiness in our minds will help to make our lives peaceful and happy. If we do not set our thoughts properly, we travel through life by way of places where we will wish we had not gone.

“It is the mind that maketh good or ill, that maketh wretch or happy, rich or poor.” - Edmund Spenser (1552-1599)

Our daily life includes thoughts associated with responsibilities concerning work, other people, and handling problems. If possible, try not to think of too many different things during your day, and don’t move or think too quickly. Start your morning with a plan to come through to bedtime relaxed, contented, and ready for a restful night’s sleep.

“Your own mind is a sacred enclosure into which nothing harmful can enter except by your permission.” - Arnold Bennett (1867-1932)

Reflect about things that can improve your feelings - learning, completing tasks and duties, pleasant and relaxing experiences, kind words. Think about your happiness, goals, life and its pleasures, your principles and your conduct. Think about enjoying the moment.

“Garner up pleasant thoughts in your mind, for pleasant thoughts make pleasant lives.” - John Wilkins (1614-1672)

What are you thinking about?

People often find it difficult to stop worrying. Worry tends to intrude into their mind at all times, interfering with work or other activities. A useful way of dealing with too much worry intruding in one’s mind is to set aside a “worry time”.

1. Set aside a “Worry time”

People often find it difficult to stop worrying. Worry tends to intrude into their mind at all times, interfering with work or other activities. A useful way of dealing with too much worry intruding in one’s mind is to set aside a “worry time”. This can be, for example, half an hour just after work. At any other time, when a worrying issue comes to mind, acknowledge to yourself that you need to think it through, and note that you will do so during your “worry time”. At the appointed time, think the issue through and try to use one of the approaches below. Before then, give yourself permission to put it out of your mind and to get on with the task at hand.

2. Is the problem solvable?

Worrying partly functions as a problem solving process. It alerts us to the possibility of something bad happening, and motivates us to come up with solutions to avoid bad outcomes. However, worriers often find it difficult to stop worrying because they attempt to solve problems that are not immediately solvable. So, during your worry time, the first thing to ask yourself is whether your worry involves a solvable problem or not.

3. If the problem is solvable…

Worriers also find it difficult to stop worrying because they keep trying to solve a problem to perfection. This is rarely possible. So, when you are trying to solve a problem, make sure that you aim to find a reasonable, rather than a perfect, solution. Worriers are very good at thinking of all the reasons why a possible solution would NOT work. They are not very good at thinking of any reason why a possible solution WOULD work. So, when you are trying to problem solve, make sure that you evaluate possible solutions in a more balanced way, not only paying attention to what may go wrong, but also to what may go right.

4. Be aware of unhelpful thoughts

One main reason why problems and solutions seem so bad is that when we worry, we tend to overestimate two things. First, we tend to overestimate how likely it is that bad things will happen. Second, we tend to overestimate how bad they would be, should they happen. Remind yourself of all the previous times when you worried about something that did not eventually happen. Try to become more realistic in your assessment of the likely outcomes. This does NOT mean being unreasonably positive. Just being more realistic.

5. Be your “best friend”

If you find it difficult to look at your negative thoughts objectively and challenge them to be more realistic, imagine that you are your own best friend. Think about all the negative things that you are thinking or saying to yourself: “I’m such a loser. I never get anything right. I might as well give up now…” And so on. If your best friend is saying these things about themselves, what would you say to them? How would you challenge their negativity and self-criticism? Now remind yourself to be your own best friend and challenge your own negative thinking the same way.

6. If the problem is not solvable…

Sometimes problems are not immediate solvable. During those times, it is important to use ‘emotionfocussed’, rather than ‘problem-focussed’ coping techniques. In other words, stop trying to solve something that is not solvable and learn to cope with it.

7. Use relaxation strategies

Because worry tends to be so pervasive, worriers often experience chronic irritability, muscle tension, concentration difficulties, sleep problems, indecision and agitation - as if being ‘on edge’ and unable to relax all the time. It is crucial therefore to make sure that occasionally you make a conscious effort to relax, even if for only a few minutes a day. There are a number of effective relaxation techniques, but physical exercise may be one of the best options.

8. Learn a special ‘relaxation’ technique: Mindfulness

A new technique that has been shown to be very useful to reduce worry and anxiety is ‘mindfulness’. It is of course not new; it comes from very old Eastern meditative traditions. One of the main points of mindfulness is that one tries to pay attention to the present moment. In order to worry, your attention needs to be focussed on the future. If you successfully focus your attention on the present, you will find that your worrying stops. There are a number of good introductory books available on mindfulness that you may like to try.

9. Develop good sleeping habits

Worry tends to interfere with sleep. In fact, most people do most of their worrying at night, while trying to fall asleep. This is of course a very unhelpful habit, and may lead you to lie awake for hours, worrying about not being able to sleep! It is best to remind yourself to worry only during your ‘worry time’, and to use bedtime as your time for relaxation and recuperation.

10. Social support

Having a few friends to have fun with and to help you through difficult times is very important. Make sure you keep in touch and have ‘time out’. However, it is also important to make sure that those times are not spent with you worrying and so not being able to enjoy yourself. Make sure you remind yourself of your ‘worry time’ and enjoy your ‘non-worry time’, paying attention to the present moment as much as possible.